She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize