Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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