Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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