My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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