Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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