My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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