dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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