So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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