It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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