Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize