youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize