i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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