Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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