I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize