Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize