I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize