I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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