I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize