I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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