I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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