we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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