That's intense
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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