I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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