Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize