i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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