Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
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Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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