Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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