i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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