So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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