shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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