My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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