spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize