I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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