im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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