She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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