Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
organizing the empties. That sober.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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