Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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