you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize