I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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