You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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