I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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