WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We're too hungover to prance.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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