Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize