Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize