I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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