when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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