i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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