I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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