Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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