I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize